Fozzie Bear Best Jokes

Fozzie Bear has been practising his jokes for over 40 years. Has he still got it? These are his best jokes.

‘Wocka! Wocka! Fozzie Bear here! Comedy has always been challenging to me, and I’ll prove it with these jokes! Here we go!’

Fozzie: OK, so a guy asks me ‘Did you take a bath today?’ and I said Why is there one missing? Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Skeeter: Wasn’t that great? I love march songs!
Fozzie: Personally, I like April songs. Get it, March, April…Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Fozzie: What do you get when you put chocolate pudding in your mother’s shoes? Give up? You get a spanking! Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Skeeter: The first event, the 100 meter tree swing!
Fozzie: They’re gonna swing a tree? Gee, those monkeys must be strong!

Fozzie: Why do movie stars have lots of fans? Give up? Because their HOT!

Fozzie: There was this sailor that was SO fat
Sailor: How fat was he?
Fozzie: Uh … He was so fat that everybody liked him, and there was nothing funny about him at all.

Fozzie: What did the big dragon say to the mouse? Give up. Nothing! Dragons can’t talk!

Rowlf: Why don’t you wear shoes Fozzie?
Fozzie: Why should I? I’d still have bear feet. Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Fozzie: Did I tell you the one about the man with the light bulb in his nose? He was lightheaded! Get it? Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Fozzie: Why are fish so smart? Give up? ‘Cause they swim in schools.

Piggy: Scooter, if you had ten hot dogs and Skeeter took three of them what would you have?
Fozzie: He’d have a tummy ache! Wocka Wocka Wocka!

Fozzie: Why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wocka Wocka Wocka!